Saturday, April 5, 2014

Exegesis of 2 Timothy 4:1-5

I have never done an official exegesis of scripture as an assignment. I took a class once but was so confused that I decided to drop it. Now, I'm taking a class on Paul's Epistles from ENMU, and have a paper due at the end of the semester. So without further adieu, here is my exegetical work. There are still a few things that I am working on, but I would love to know your thoughts about it.
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The Roman Empire stands as an icon for an enduring kingdom lasting roughly around 1500 years, depending which dates you use to give it definition. As with anything that lasts for 1500 years, the Roman Empire went through a myriad of transitions in religious, political and economic standing. With the birth, death and resurrection of Christ and the sending out of the Apostles, the whole world would eventually be flipped on its edge. In the midst of all of this slow upheaval, a famous Jew turned Christian was born. Saul of Tarsus was the quintessential Jew. As translated in the English Standard Version, Philippians 3:4-6, the now converted Paul writes, “If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.” His conversion was miraculous. Quite literally God knocked him off his ass, blinded him and called him to quit persecuting Christians and instead become one of the leading voices for Christianity of all time. Paul writes in Ephesians 3:1-3, “…you have heard of the stewardship of God’s grace which was given to me for you; that by revelation there was made known to me the mystery, as I wrote before in brief.” (NASB) The revelation that Paul received was so incredibly dramatic and explosive, that the world has not been the same since. When Paul was converted in approximately 33-36 AD, Tiberius was Emperor of Rome. After approximately twenty years serving as an apostle, Rome gets a new Emperor by the name of Nero. Nero is infamous for his persecution of Christians. He is known for burning people alive and using them as human torches in his gardens. (Secrets of the Dead: The Great Fire of Rome, 2002) This is the time period where we find Paul in prison in Rome in 2 Timothy. Paul is facing imminent death after having been imprisoned in house arrest for years. (Ronconi, 2014) Paul is experiencing high emotions that are driving him to tie up any loose ends. He, like anyone facing death, does not want to be alone and is longing for companionship especially in the face of so many people who have abandoned him in his time of need. While he is having legitimate human concerns, he is also trying to do everything he can to prepare and encourage his protégé to continue the work of the ministry especially in the face of the current persecution of Christians.
Now that we understand the historical background for where we find Paul’s words to Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:1-5, let’s look at the words Paul writes,
“In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I solemnly urge you: proclaim the message; be persistent whether the time is favorable or unfavorable; convince, rebuke, and encourage, with the utmost patience in teaching. For the time is coming when people will not put up with sound doctrine, but having itching ears, they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own desires, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander away to myths. As for you, always be sober, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, carry out your ministry fully.” (NRSV)
There is no doubt that Paul advises Timothy about how to handle ministry situations in this passage. However, if we limit this pericope to a strictly teacher-student relationship we miss the humanity found within. In this pericope, we find Paul facing imminent death. In those intensely emotional moments people wax nostalgic; analyzing the significant moments in their own lives in order to give to those that remain bits of wisdom to guide them in future decisions. In Paul’s personal journey, he experienced the greatest of extremes of the depths of Jewish legalism of which by his own words he fulfilled to the highest degree in contrast with the heights of his instantaneous euphoric grace encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus.  Paul is emotionally summarizing that incredible expanse with such intense passion, that when he writes to Timothy he longs for the whole world to be able to experience that same grace encounter.  In 2 Timothy 4:1-5, if we limit this exegesis to what is written, we miss Paul's humanity. We cannot fully exegete this text without experiencing Paul as a real human being with a wide variety of emotions that are being expressed in words which are pregnant with meaning. There is more than meets the eye in 2 Timothy 4:1-5. I propose that in this pericope, we see Paul instruct Timothy on the importance of teaching grace in a world that is hostile to that very message, from the worldview of one who was intimately familiar with the traps of legalism and yet knows the life transforming power of a grace that is scandalous just as well.
Having studied this portion in a variety of translations, I find there are some unique differences in how certain parts are portrayed. In 2 Timothy 4:2, the NASB translates the verse as “reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.” Other versions translate it as ‘correct, rebuke and encourage’ or ‘challenge, warn, and urge your people’ while another version says ‘reprove, rebuke, and exhort.’ A few translations take these three words and turn them into full sentences. The Living Bible translates it as, “Correct and rebuke your people when they need it, encourage them to do right, and all the time be feeding them patiently with God’s Word.” The Amplified Bible translates it as, “And convince them, rebuking and correcting, warning and urging and encouraging them, being unflagging and inexhaustible in patience and teaching.” In one of the more recent and poetic translations of 2 Timothy , The Mirror Bible translates it as, “value every individual in your audience highly; esteem people’s authentic identity passionately; teach tirelessly!” I find this incredibly intriguing. I don’t believe this translation is merely poetic license, but rather the translator is tapping into a deeper level of what Paul is trying to communicate. For instance,  Francois du Toit translates 2 Timothy 3:1 in the Mirror Bible as, “Know also that there will be days where the extremities of people’s fallen mindsets will be very obvious; where the gulf between heavenly grace-thinking and earthly legalism-thinking will be most pronounced.” If Paul is consumed, convinced and completely arrested with the mentality of grace, then Paul is saying more here than meets the eye. In a legalistic mindset that is preoccupied with right and wrong, when you read the words ‘reprove, rebuke, exhort’ it can quickly lead to a mentality where you feel the permission to be the local sheriff, arresting everyone for doing something wrong. I don’t believe that Paul is encouraging Timothy to be the local fault finder. That is incredibly unproductive. Paul knows that the Holy Spirit is the one who will do the convicting. Paul is all too familiar with the Holy Spirit’s power to transform lives; his own life is the result of that very work. So certainly Paul cannot be telling Timothy to be a busy body who is on the lookout for every single mistake that people make. On the contrary, I believe that Paul is speaking to him about two things. First, Paul is instructing Timothy generically about the church as a whole and specifically how to help guard them against false theologies like Gnosticism and Jewish legalists. Second, Paul urges Timothy to see people through the eyes of grace. It is in this second level that I believe the Mirror Bible’s translation of 2 Timothy 4:2 exposes Paul’s highest intention. Grace is what enables you to “value every individual in your audience highly; esteem people’s authentic identity passionately; teach tirelessly” because instead of being a fault finder you are seeing people as God sees them. You are consumed with the revelation that Jesus died for the person sitting in front of you, and how much love he has for each one. I think the more conservative translations miss this aspect and are more concerned with the legalistic adherence to sound doctrine than trusting in the work of grace through the Holy Spirit to accomplish the mysterious work that happens in each human heart.
Another passage that is interesting is in verse 2 Timothy 4:4, which is translated in the NRSV as, “and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander away to myths.” However the Mirror Bible, translates it as, “In their pursuit they would exchange the truth for man-made fictions and fables as their source of reference!”  Since we’ve already seen a connection between this pericope and previous passages from Chapter 3, I believe we can look again to Chapter 3:8 to see Paul outline exactly what he believes those ‘man-made fictions and fables’ are specifically in verse 8 Paul writes,
 “These guys, with their deadly legalistic Jewish agendas, seem to be on par with the two Egyptian magicians, Jannes and Jambres, who tried their best tricks to compete with Moses! The supernatural is not proof of faith! These people oppose truth (of grace); their minds are fully engaged in selling their religious self-help programs, and they stubbornly refuse to acknowledge what God believes about them.”
So the question is when Paul talks in Chapter 4:3-4 about people not wanting to hear sound doctrine but preferring to listen to things that will tickle their ears, what is this other theology that people wanted to hear. I think there are multiple answers to that question. The Roman Empire was a beautiful mix of a variety of religions. There were Greeks who still believed in Greek mythology, there were Romans who still believed in Roman mythology, there were Jews who still believed in the Old Covenant, there were new Christian coverts from all three who had grown up in one way of thinking but were being convinced of something totally new. As Christianity unfolded as a new religion, tensions between Jews and Christians were high. Particularly because converts were not all Jewish, but many came from pagan religions. The Jerusalem Council was the first group of Apostles, who were employed to deal with issues such as eating kosher and circumcision. For both Jews and Jewish converts, all they had ever known was the law. The importance of the law to Jewish people cannot be spoken of lightly. This presents a great tension for Gentile Christians however. They see no reason to first become Jewish to then convert to Christianity. In Acts 10, Peter has a famous vision where a sheet drops before his eyes and he begins to see a variety of clean and unclean animals in movie like fashion, be discussed by the Lord. The purpose of this vision is the Lord is telling Peter, “What God has cleansed, no longer consider unholy.” The question of considerable debate is whether the Lord is using an analogy or is being literal in this passage. Many believe that it is literal and the Lord is telling Peter that all dietary restrictions are no longer valid. One commentator says, “When the Mosaic Law was instituted to Israel, certain meats were then forbidden for the Jews (Israel only -Leviticus 10:10, 11:4-7; Deuteronomy 14:7-8). This command was again changed when Jesus was crucified. The laws restriction came to its end as a requirement for believers and all meat was again allowed, as it is clean. In this new dispensation, after the cross, all meats are allowed for food, there is no prohibition of clean or unclean because we are no longer under the Law of Moses, that made these distinctions but are under a new covenant (Acts 11:8-9; Romans 14:14), but under the law of Christ.” (Are we allowed to eat meat?, 2009) Other people believe that it is only symbolic and that God is using an analogy to prepare Peter, an ardent Jew who would never have been found in the company of a Gentile, because to do so would be vile, to see Cornelius, thus leaving all the kosher laws still very much intact. “Thus, the subject matter of Acts 10 has nothing to do with clean and unclean meats. God simply used the vision of unclean animals to emphasize a point to Peter—that when God has spiritually cleansed a Gentile, he is not to be deemed common or unclean.” (Are God's Laws of Clean and Unclean Meats Upheld Under the New Covenant, 2009) Nevertheless, the point in 2 Timothy Chapter 4 is that there are tensions between the Gospel truth and other theologies or doctrines, which Paul deems as dangerous. Those doctrines could be the “deadly legalistic Jewish agendas” or “earthly legalism-thinking” they could be the more sensual permissions that those from a Greek or Roman background might have found appealing. I personally believe that Paul is being vague on purpose in order to cover anything that would oppose the knowledge of God. In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul urged the church in Corinth to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive, to make it obedient to Christ.”  I believe that Paul is telling Timothy, that the church in Ephesus will need to be prepared to do the same thing.
Finally, there is a brief sentence in the Message version that expresses an emotion that is lost in other translations. In the translation The Message, Eugene Peterson translates the 2 Timothy 4:5 as, “keep the Message alive.” In all the other translations, this pericope ends with a seemingly bland exhortation for Timothy to keep doing his job. Certainly in light of all that Paul is facing, he is not wasting a single word of instruction, so this sentence cannot be as simple as it looks. I wonder if in the emotion of facing your own imminent death and seeing how treacherous Nero is towards Christians in this time frame, combined with Paul’s own reports of friends abandoning him in his time of need, if Paul is experiencing even the most minute of fears that the message of the Cross will not continue and will die with him. I wonder if thoughts are crossing his mind, as to whether his death will be in vain. I believe that hidden in the depths of Paul’s humanity is an incredibly complex set of beliefs and emotions that is saying much more to Timothy than “keep preaching.” I think Paul is saying, “I know that God has a plan, but I also know that he has used me to do something pretty significant. I have suffered a lot for it and am gladly and willingly will lay my life down because I believe that the Gospel message is worth it. However, this dying makes me realize that I will no longer have influence on how things happen, and that frightens me a bit. The seeming loss of control is a bit stressful and I realize that I am leaving all of this in your hands in a super difficult time. While I believe that you are fully convinced of the Gospel just as I am, which is why I call you my son, I hope and pray that you will continue the work of spreading the Gospel and not abandon it in the face of persecution like others have. If you were to abandon the work, what would that mean of my life’s work? Will all my suffering be for nothing? Will future generations not know the beauty of the Gospel? So by all means, Timothy, keep the Message alive.”
In summary, I believe that what we experience in 2 Timothy 4:1-5, is the emotional and very natural human expressions of a man who is facing death as he writes to his protégé. I believe we see Paul dance with even the minutest of fears and the lack of control, combined with heartache at what may come Timothy’s way in the future. I believe Paul encourages Timothy to ‘be rooted and grounded in love’ (Eph. 3:17) though using different language with Timothy than he did when writing the whole Church in Ephesus. This instruction enables Timothy to deal with heresy, controversy, and skewed thinking while responding to each person with the fullness of grace and love. I see throughout this small pericope 3 distinct places where Paul urges Timothy to view his circumstances through the eyes of grace. It is very similar to what Paul wrote to the Church in Corinth; (love) “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things… But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:7,13 ESV)

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Achey breaky heart

I don't know what it is but there is a groan inside of me. Started last night in worship and haven't been able to shake it. It's a longing for intimacy for sure, but it's more that that. I find the temptation to day dream is getting harder to fight. I want Calgon to sweep me away. In another life I know what would fix this problem, but that life is past and no longer bears any viable options. I think it's the ache of barrenness. The longing for husband and family. 

A guy friend called out of the blue. We haven't spoken in months. Maybe 3 times in the last two years. I loved him once. And as he calls out of the blue, we pick up right where we left off. At one point he says he can see through me, he knows me...and yet he still doesn't choose me. There is nothing more wounding than being fully seen and not chosen. I cannot afford to be your ego boost any longer. 

It's a place of radical discontentment. I would rather have any life other than this one. Teach me to be grateful for the here and now. One day I will miss this time. I don't want to be Israel who wants a king just to be like everyone else. That was so very destructive. 

Maybe I just need sleep. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I choose Life!

Prosperity After Turning to the Lord

Deut. 30 says, When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come on you and you take them to heart wherever the Lord your God disperses you among the nations, 2 and when you and your children return to the Lord your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. 4 Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. 5 He will bring you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. 6 The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. 7 The Lord your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. 8 You will again obey the Lord and follow all his commands I am giving you today. 9 Then the Lord your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, 10 if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.

The Offer of Life or Death

11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.
19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20 and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Seemingly all night last night I dreamed about this passage. I woke up specifically with verses 19-20 in my heart. I am not sure exactly what the Lord is saying, but these are the thoughts I've been thinking about.

As we live life day in and day out, how do we choose Life? In verse 19, it gives 3 principles that describe what choosing life looks like: Love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him. In verse 15, it says Love the Lord your God, walk in obedience to him, keep his commands, decrees and laws and then you will live in increase. 

Heb. 3:7-11 says, "So, as the Holy Spirit says:“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness, where your ancestors tested and tried me, though for forty years they saw what I did. That is why I was angry with that generation; I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known my ways.’So I declared on oath in my anger, ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”

I guess that's the key for me, is not hardening my heart. You see, God likes to do things that I don't always like to do. He likes to take me to places and make me say things that are just down right uncomfortable. He likes to wake me up in the middle of the night or worse yet, make me wake up at some crazy hour to spend time with him. I hate it all.  So how do I not harden my heart, how do I not choose rebellion or worshiping other Gods (namely myself, comfort, convenience, fear of man, etc) but instead choose him? Verse 11 in Deuteronomy is encouraging. It is not too difficult or out of reach. Sometimes it just comes down to believing Jesus is who He says He is. 

I've been meditating on James 1 for a while as well. The issue of unbelief and how it paralyzes us in fear and keeps us from moving forward in the plans God has for us. Eph. 4:14 says, "so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes." In James we are tossed to and fro because of unbelief. In Ephesians we are tossed because we are immature are cannot resist false doctrines. 

And then there is the verse: "Therefore thus says the Lord: You have not listened to Me and obeyed Me in proclaiming liberty each one to his brother and neighbor." The punishment for not proclaiming liberty is to be tossed to and fro. 

And finally going back to Deuteronomy in Ch 28:25 it says, "The Lord shall cause you to be struck down before your enemies; you shall go out one way against them and flee seven ways before them, and you shall be tossed to and fro and be a terror among all the kingdoms of the earth." Why is God going too do that? Verse 14 says, "But if you will not obey the voice of the Lord your God, being watchful to do all His commandments and His statutes which I command you this day, then all these curses shall come upon you and overtake you." 

The ampliphied version says that the verse in Deut 28 was fulfilled in 2 Chronicles 29:6-8. "For our fathers have trespassed and have done what was evil in the sight of the Lord our God, and they have forsaken Him and have turned away their faces from the dwelling place of the Lord and have turned their backs. Also they have closed the doors of the porch and put out the lamps, and they have not burned incense or offered burnt offerings in the place holy to the God of Israel. [II Kings 16:10-16.] Therefore the wrath of the Lord was upon Judah and Jerusalem, and He has delivered them to be a terror and a cause of trembling, to be an astonishment, and a hissing, as you see with your own eyes. 

What's even more interesting is Deut. 28:24, "The Lord shall make the rain of your land powdered soil and dust; from the heavens it shall come down upon you until you are destroyed."

All this meditation on to and fro began when I heard people calling Lubbock weather bi polar. Being tossed to and fro is the physical manifestation of being bi polar. If Deut 28:24 doesn't describe Lubbock weather I don't know what does.

So what now? It's a time of repentance. It's time to come back to The Lord. It's time to choose life that we may live. As for me and my house, I choose life! 

Monday, March 17, 2014

How to appropriately celebrate St. Patrick

Much discussion has been going around about the fallacies regarding the way America celebrates St.

Patrick's day. Since I am taking a class on Church history, I just happen to have recently written a

short piece on St. Patrick. Here's what I wrote:


One thing that was surprising to learn is that St. Patrick was born in Scotland and then sold into slavery in Ireland. He lived for 106 years. It was during his time as a slave sheepherder, that he penned the words “His fear increased in me more and more, and the faith grew in me, and the spirit was roused, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers, and in the night nearly the same, so that whilst in the woods and on the mountain, even before the dawn, I was roused to prayer and felt no hurt from it, whether there was snow or ice or rain; nor was there any slothfulness in me, such as I see now, because the spirit was then fervent within me.“ (St. Patrick, 1911) As was common with many mystics during this time period, St. Patrick’s life was rich in the workings of signs and wonders. Wherever he went, “the fame of Patrick's marvelous power of miracles preceded him.” (St. Patrick, 1911) Some of his most significant miracles were performed on Easter Day in 433 AD, when Patrick took on a brood of Druids much like Elijah and the Prophets of Baal. “Patrick's ministry lasted 29 years. He baptized over 120,000 Irishmen and planted 300 churches.” (Kithcart, 2014) Patrick’s story is an epic reminder of the cost associated with being a true disciple of Christ. Surrendering to the life of missions is not an easy choice and often comes with much tribulation. “Rev. Earnes concurs, ‘I honestly feel that what Patrick taught Ireland was that there is a cost to discipleship, but it's a cost worth paying.” (Kithcart, 2014)

Did you also know that St. Patrick raised people from the Dead? Quoting Tyler Johnson's Facebook post, "A few resurrection stories about St. Patrick: Once, the two children of king Alphinus died; a daughter named Dublinia and a son named Eochadh. Alphinus told St. Patrick that if he raised his children back to life he would give himself and his kingdom to God. So, Patrick raised them both back to life. The king was baptized shortly after and the people turned from Druid worship to God. To remember what God had done, the king named his biggest city after his daughter, which is why that city is now called Dublin. -Church history records St. Patrick to have raised 33 men from the dead...."some dead many years." Just go ahead and think about that for a moment."  

So how do you really celebrate a man who died this day many years ago? Getting drunk on whiskey and Green Beer seems wildly inappropriate. I guess for me today is much more of a challenge to live my faith out-loud. Today is a day that if I see someone who is sick and hurting, I want to pray for them to be healed and to give a lending hand. Granted that should be my everyday, but since it's not, I will start today. I don't think I'm up for walking into the morgue and praying for the dead to be raised. I wish I was that brave. My friend Kyle and I prayed for a friends step dad several years ago who was dying because he tried to kill himself. I really believed we were going to raise him up then. But nurses and red tape got in the way.  I think watching a movie called "DeadRaiser" would be a great way to honor St. Patrick's legacy. Anything you can do to stir your faith to believe God for more. 

I don't know about you but I too often limit God by my small imagination. I have not because I ask not. My friend Corrie reminded me last night about George Mueller's life. He did amazing work in England and never asked anyone other than God for the things he needed. He believed that God would provide 100%. I run a prayer ministry on campus and I am not convinced of God's faithfulness, like George was. I can prove it because every time I ask God for something and he does it, I am shocked. My faith is very small. 

So today, I will stretch my faith and believe God for something that only he could provide. I will pray for people to be healed and if I come across someone dying or dead I will pray for them to be raised back to life. Today, I will live not like a 21st century American in my faith but like those long ago who actually believed and saw God do amazing things.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Essentially Me!

I am not sure what is happening, but I have a fresh grace on my life to do things that I haven't done in a long time, like write. So I decided I would change up my blog to reflect this new season. There are actually quite a few changes going on in my heart and I think this is the place that I will write about them. Part of the name of this blog comes from my growing obsession with Essential Oils. Young Living Essential Oils to be exact. I know there are other brands out there, but YL has worked for me. I've been using them for three years. I recently did a Zyto scan and it revealed that my Gallbladder, Adrenal Glands and Heart are seriously compromised. My whole digestive track is pretty significantly off balance. I blame that on my hysterectomy 3 years ago. So I've begun using a lot of oils to rid myself of multiple viruses and a couple of parasites hoping to bring things back into balance. I am not real sure how I know these will work, but something in me says the science behind this stuff is telling the truth. So I am excited to see where this journey takes me.

As of today I am 38 years old. I weigh approximately 275 lbs. I am 5'2". I've already had cancer once and my dad just had a heart attack about 6 months ago. I don't want to join him in that adventure.

My daily regimine with oils looks like this:

I am trying to work up to 2x a day, but for now once a day I drink 5 drops of lavendar, peppermint and lemon oil. I put 2-3 drops of nutmeg on my lower back (adrenal glands are above the kidneys). I put Exodus II or Thieves on my feet. I put Grapefruit and Forgiveness on my belly. I put Endoflex on my feet, neck and throat. I am also doing the Raindrop Technique on my feet 4-5 times a week. I am doing daily detox baths and trying to drink Salt Tea daily. Who knew drinking butter would be so difficult?

I am trying to drink water each day as well. I'm up to 32 oz of water a day which is a big deal. Therein lies my health problems I'm sure. I'm also trying to do a smoothie once a day so I can get veggies into my system.

The hardest part about all of this is the headaches that I get because of the detoxing. I've been able so far to keep the pain at bay by using the Morphine Bomb (Copaiba, Frankincense, and Balsam Fir) in a veggie capsule. I'm also using Deep Relief topically around my head and neck. I can't tell if the headaches are from the oils or from barometric pressure, as the weather in Lubbock has been and is always super crazy in the Spring.

Today for lunch I ate 1 piece of lasagna, 2 small pieces of garlic bread, a generous portion of steamed veggies in real butter with pink salt. I drank a bottle of water. For dessert I had 5 blackberries.

I am doing all of this for health reasons but also for spiritual reasons. I am tired of letting the past control my present and future. I know that I was born to be a world changer and have a ton of destiny inside me, but I keep allowing things to hold me back. I'm ready for the breakthrough. I want to do the things that God has called me to do without allowing fear and insecurity and other junk hold me back.

There's also a boy. It's hard to find men in their young 40's who are single, never been married, no kids and are really passionate about loving Jesus. But there is one in the West Texas area. I don't know if I have a chance with him or not, but I want to do everything I can to clear out any obstacles that would keep us from connecting if that's what God wants. I want to clear out the cobwebs in my heart, mind and body. He's a good ole boy too. Down to earth. Even as I type this I find it hard to believe that someone would love me, and an entire list of things that I think should discredit me arise to the surface. I am choosing to move past those thoughts and embrace the truth that is Essentially Me.

Friday, January 17, 2014

An Open Letter to Phil Robertson, Patriarch of the Duck Dynasty


After all the media attention you received in December because of your comments in the GQ magazine, I hope and pray that you will read just one more. Maybe it will help if I tell you that I am a huge fan. While only watching my first episode of Duck Dynasty just a week before the controversy broke, I still love everything about the show. I even bought my dad one of your DVD’s for Christmas. I love that you stand for Jesus to the best of your ability. So while I write this letter to you because it directly deals with comments you made, this is honestly a letter to the American people, and I guess even more specifically the American Church that I honestly never expected to write. Let me explain.


Today is January 17th. It’s 9 am, and just a while ago I was awakened from my sleep. The date is significant because we are weeks away from the controversy, so it’s not like I had media bytes rolling around in my subconscious. I honestly believe that the Lord woke me up with a startling phrase. I believe the Lord woke me up and told me, “Jill, you are much more than a vagina.” Obviously, groggy and confused as to why we were having this kind of discussion in the middle of the night, I told the Lord, “I’m sorry….WHAT?”  Then as if I was hearing dictation, I began to hear the Lord walk me through this letter that I am sending you now. So here goes:

Phil, I am more than a vagina. As a woman, I am more than a vagina and boobs. I missed it when the controversy first broke, but you did more than offend the LGBT community, you offended women as well. In your overly simplistic statement, you relegated the act of sexual intercourse to a choice between vagina’s and anuses. Not only I am more than a vagina, but so is Miss Kay. When you have made love to your wife, you look into her eyes, you engage with her heart and soul. She is a person. She is not just a vagina. You see, we live in an overtly sexualized world, which has relegated sex to a consumerist mentality. In a recent blog post, Benjamin Nolot, director of Exodus Cry and producer of the documentary Nefarious: Merchant of Souls states, “Girls internalize this message as they grow up and over time it becomes woven into the core of their identity. By the time most reach adolescence they have become fully amalgamated into the culture’s narrative – To be powerful, accepted, celebrated, appreciated, and adored – to be VISIBLE, you must be SEXUAL. The alternative is to be rendered completely and entirely irrelevant – to be made INVISIBLE.” Billboards, TV shows, movies, magazines all amplify the motto “Sex Sales.” America is the top consumer and producer of pornography. We live in a world where women and children are abducted regularly and then sold into prostitution and human trafficking rings. Humanity as a whole is guilty for devaluing human life in a myriad of ways. That is basically what you did in your statement. You devalued not only your own wife, but women in general when you said that sex was a choice between a vagina and an anus. It simply cannot be that simple. You chose to make a vow of commitment to one woman, Miss Kay, for the rest of your life. You see, this is why if your covenant with Miss Kay was just about her vagina, then it would not be so sacred. The covenant of marriage (an expression of the relationship between Jesus and the church) is chiefly revealed in the act of physical intimacy: the breaking of a hymen (a blood covenant), the transferring of the seed of life from a man and implanting it into a woman (the gift of the Holy Spirit). Nevertheless, the mystery that happens in sexual intercourse is the joining of two souls. The oneness that happens in sex is a mystery and is so much more than vaginas and anuses. 

Not only has our culture devalued human life but we have devalued marriage, and I don’t mean by states allowing gay marriage. Marriage was devalued when uncontested divorce was initially made legal, and the prolific amount of divorces that have happened since are proof. Divorce is rampant in the world as well as the church. The very thing that Paul signifies as the guidepost of the relationship that Jesus bought for us has been treated casually. For this and so many more reasons, it’s no wonder that the message of salvation in Christ is lost on the world today. 

Having said all of this, I want to tell you that I understand or rather hope you didn’t “mean” all of that when you said it. Unfortunately, words mean things. There are implied as well as inherent meanings in every word we use. The glory of communication is the subtle nuances that mean things. The cultural background that imbues every word with a thousand definitions, are incredibly important. Having grown up in the South, I am all too aware of the ignorance that is tolerated as the cultural norm. Bigotry against races and gender is commonplace. In the movie The Help, the character Abileene, makes a statement about raising children as a black maid that I found very poignant. She makes the statement that as a maid she is loved and adored by children until they turn 18, and then all of the sudden she is relegated as trash. I thought it was significant because in many ways, I feel the same way as a woman. In the American church, by and large I am qualified because of my gender to teach children about God as long as they are a minor. Mysteriously, when they cross the threshold into adulthood, I am no longer qualified to teach them about Jesus publically. My point is that while I understand that your comments were made from a lifetime of cultural worldviews, there is something higher that you should aspire to confessing. When you accepted Jesus as your personal savior, you became an inhabitant of a different Kingdom, a different culture. The value systems of your former life are supposed to take the back seat to the new value systems of the Kingdom of God. Sanctification, the process all Christians go through of becoming more Christ like, is slow and tedious, requiring much repentance and submission. In 2 Cor. 10:5 (MSG) Paul says, “But we don’t live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.” In talking about spiritual warfare, Paul says that our job is to demolish our massively corrupt culture, warped philosophies, and to tear down barriers erected against the truth of God. Spiritual warfare is the opposing of the culture of this world and enforcing the culture of the Kingdom. The culture of this world is one that devalues humanity, sexuality, marriage by promoting pornography, promiscuity, divorce, abortion, human trafficking and a thousand other atrocities. We as believers must guard ourselves from the seemingly innocuous and casual regard of things God calls holy. Lou Engle once said, “If you treat the prophetic casually it will cause casualties.” I will take that statement one step further. If we treat anything that God calls holy, casually it causes casualties.  The casualness and simplicity that you use in referring to sex as simple body parts is causing casualties of epic proportion. It kills the sacredness of marriage, the mystery and beauty of joining two souls together in sex; it significantly devalues and thereby kills the core of femininity and relegates women to sex objects.

I have one last thing to say in regards to this issue. While I agree with you that homosexuality is a sin, I think the overemphasis of it that the church is making in this hour is the greater problem. In 1 Cor. 13 (NIV), we learn how God defines love. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” There are two phrases from this passage that jump out at me: 1) it keeps no record of wrongs and 2) it always protects. I don’t know about you but I am pretty well aware of all the mistakes I make. I think most humans are. Whether the LGBT community agrees with us that homosexuality is a sin is not really the issue. God makes it pretty clear that it is his job to change hearts. We, as Christians, are called to love. In fact we are called to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. 

I sincerely don’t know how to deal with all of the intricate nuances about this issue. I have analyzed this argument from every angle. I have good friends who are gay (both Christian and non-Christian alike) so this issue is extremely important to me. I want to love them well. I believe in accountability and all of that stuff, but I also know that the times of greatest change in my own testimony have come not through someone holding a measuring stick to my life, but extending me grace and mercy. That is in and of itself the audacity of the Cross, that we (any of us) would be given mercy. I don’t believe the statements you made exemplified love. You were keeping a record of their wrongs. You held up a banner and said that because they participate in XYZ sin they are devalued and somehow not deserving of God’s love and mercy. Again, you may not have “meant” it, but that’s what you said. You also didn’t protect the LGBT community. You didn’t protect them from being exploited, from the lies of the enemy which would tell them they don’t deserve God’s love, from unwanted rejection, etc. Rather you chose to make comments that treated the LGBT community much like David treated Bathsheba’s husband. You sent them to the front lines to be slaughtered. All I know is that there is not one Christian who does not struggle with some kind of sin on a daily basis. Be it sins of pride, lying, adultery, pornography, lust, stealing, etc we all “have fallen short.” I think the Church is guilty of focusing way too much on sin and not nearly enough on the mercy found at the cross of Christ. It is a delicate balance, one which I have not perfected.Phil, I don’t have all the answers. As I said in the beginning, this really is a letter to the Church and American public as much as it is to you. I pray that if anything good can come of the controversy you found yourself in the midst of in December, that it will cause the church to look at issues like gender equality, homosexuality, marriage, and our treatment of holy things casually more seriously. 

I pray that God blesses your family. As Paul says in Philippians 1:9-11, “This is my prayer: that your love might become even more and more rich with knowledge and all kinds of insight.  I pray this so that you will be able to decide what really matters and so you will be sincere and blameless on the day of Christ.  I pray that you will then be filled with the fruit of righteousness, which comes from Jesus Christ, in order to give glory and praise to God.”

Sincerely,

Jill Hurley