Short fuse

I have a confession to make.  I've actually made it many times, but it keeps becoming all the more true in my life.  I am weak.  I don't know what it is about turning 35 but I am spent.  I don't have the stamina to last an entire semester at the pace I normally live at.  This semester I have been in school full time, working the equivalent of 30 hours per week and been planning an event at Tech for 500-1000 ppl.  We're just barely past the midpoint of the semester and I'm done.  I am so grateful to be going to Italy.  Though it's really inconveinent, it will be such a great refreshing experience.  I just hope I can come back and finish the semester well.

I SERIOUSLY need to lose weight and get healthy.  Especially if I am going to spend a semester overseas.  Maybe that's where it will happen.  <>

Dying to yourself is hardwork.  My first step will need to be getting off sugar.  How the crack monkey is that supposed to happen?  <>

I'm really hoping, asking the Lord to give me another one of those life transforming moments, like he did when I was in Brazil, in Italy.  Let the winds blow...you know, the good healthy revitalising winds.  Not the destructive winds that turn out good in the end. 

I can tell my paradigm is going to be blown.  That's what happens when you experience life in something so completely foreign to you.  I'm so eagerly anticipating this experience. 

I've become such a "feather in the wind" Christian.  To a certain extent I've really lost the intentionality of my life.  The vision is gone.  I'm just floating, catching each new updraft.  I long to have a dream again in my heart and yet I don't know if I can handle it.  I'm sooooo done with hope deferred.  I'm just trying to float and hope...kind of like Hope Floats.  Great movie.  Has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.

There are things I'm passionate about:  human trafficking, prayer, justice/injustice, and the domains of society, anthropology and college students.

It feels so random.  Oh well, we'll see what comes.  Until then, I'll just keep floating.  Someday I'll land on something that makes it all make sense. 

Gratitude Journal

I've been challenged to do a gratitude journal.  Instead of doing 10 a day, I'm going to try 30 a week and see if that works.

So here goes another attempt at being grateful:

1.  I am grateful that God helped me find my retainer.  I thought I had lost it after my camping trip.  It helps when I have migraines so I was going to be really sad if I lost it.

2.  I'm grateful for people who will give me a ride to and from work when my car is broken down.

3.  I'm grateful that I have a job that I can blog at.

4.  I'm grateful for indoor plumbing...be right back.  ;)

5. I'm grateful that Marcia went camping with me last weekend.  I would have been an even greater bumbling idiot without her there.

6.  I'm grateful for friends who push me to be better than I am.

7.  I'm grateful for friends who love me despite myself.

8.  I'm grateful that God talks to me despite the fact that I avoid spending intentional time with him.

9.  I'm grateful for my free trip to Rome.

10.  I'm grateful that it won't interfere with my classes to bad.

11.  I'm grateful I had the funds to get my car fixed.

12.  ...................   12.........................   12....................... 12.  Aha, I'm grateful for our new Sun Harvest.

13.  I'm grateful for bulk wasabi peas, coconut sorbet, and coconut/aloe water.  I'm not so grateful for the dried kale chips.  They're just weird.

On a side note, I am so nervous to travel to Rome.  I think there's a good chance that I'll be doing an international flight by myself.  It's kind of nauseating.  I've also arranged to stay in Rome for 24 hours after the conference by myself.  I've reserved a room at a hostel but wowzers it's scary.

Well clearly I can do 13 today, let's see if in a few days I can come up with another 17.

blah blah blog

I have been requested to write a blog. I have nothing to say.  My brain is mush. I leave for Rome in 2 weeks. Yeah!