God of Second Chances

As I sit here, debating whether I should join the blogging world again, I am grateful that I serve a God of second chances. For those of you that don't know me, but are familiar with the personality tests that describe you as a color, I am GREEN. I'm also a high blue. But I am really GREEN. So I do a lot of thinking, analyzing, contemplating, etc. With such deep introspection usually comes the need to verbalize. And unfortunately it's not always pretty. You see, sometimes in the past I have been known to reveal the darkest parts of my soul. Part of that is because my pendulum has swung to full on authenticity/vulnerability. I despise/loathe the pretentious nature of the church. Christians walk around pretending their lives smells of roses, conveniently ignoring the manure that helps those roses grow.

That all being said, there has been too much darkness out there about me. My blogs have gotten me in a lot of trouble. I have publicly mocked my friends (apparently, I was just reminded of that...and am terribly sorry about it too), told X rated details of my life, and I feel have done the very thing that I hoped never to do: heap more shame on the name of Jesus. I do a good enough job, just by screwing up all the time...but to blab about it too is Terrible.

So, after a few years of self imposed grounding, I hesitantly return to the world of blogging. Consider this diatribe both a warning and an invitation. I am a paradoxical prophet. I am not ashamed of the Gospel, and praise God that He's not ashamed of me. In fact, he calls me lovely. It's a miracle beyond my understanding.