dreams and visions

1. Tuesday, Dec. 15th (that night while sleeping) I dreamt that someone in my family died and I was having a real hard time getting over it. So I went to a dr to see if he could give me something to help me cope. He told me he could give me pills or I could go to Slaton and get "ganka" (which I knew was a code word for weed) from Doug Stone. I chose to go to Slaton. Upon arrival at Doug's house, I told him "I'm surprised your dealing." He said, "I'm surprised your buying."

2. Thursday, Dec. 17th (that evening while at Kathy & Neeley Byrum's house), we went to the secret place together. Using guided imagery I imagined myself as a little girl wearing a dress, swinging on a tree swing, seeing Jesus give me a hug and spin me around. Then I asked him a question, "Why are you so far away?" He pointed away from him and I turned around and saw the most majestic and beautiful male deer. He had a gorgeous rack, like 12 points or something crazy. He was thick chested and elegant. He walked across a wooden bridge into what looked like a Disney evil forest. Dense fog and craggly trees everywhere. You could barely see where you were going. While never knowing where he was because of the fog, he never waivered; his footsteps were sure. Then I could hear the river. I watched as he leaned to his right to listen to the river. And as he would press into the sound of the river, it was like the fog would vanish, and his surroundings would turn miraculously into this amazing forest, lush with life. But it would disappear quickly. Over and over, he would strain to hear the river, catch a glimpse of this other world and then loose it. Somehow through all that, he had climbed up the mountain and came upon a rock shelf where it looked as though Abraham was about to sacrifice Issac. But instead of a ram getting caught in the thicket, the deer went and laid down on the alter willingly. He was at total peace, knowing this was his destiny. But before I saw the deer die, the screen turned and I was looking to the right of the alter, down into the ravine. There was a beautiful tall thin angel, that was opalescent in color. She was dancing in an oscillating fashion. There was a beam of light that was coming from the heavens into her. She was so hungry to be in that light. She would be there and drink all day, then step out for a moment and be parched. Oddly at this point, I saw a flash of a demonic presence there. It felt like lust or greed. It was the same mocking face that had mocked me a couple of years ago, when I was in an unhealthy relationship. I had told a guy "I miss you." This demon manifested and chuckled at me and said, "Ha ha, you miss me." Then my tune changed real quick and was like, "the hell I do."

On another note, it's amazing to trust in God and have him really show up. I went to work on empty today with 6 dollars to my name. God had reminded me that I had some Arbonne products that I could sell to co-workers as small Christmas gifts. So I offered, and several people took me up on those offers. So I was able to put gas in my car and buy supper. Then a friend came and rode with me to an outing and gave me $20 on top of that. God is faithful if I would just trust and obey. Sing with me now "Trust and obey, for there's no better way, than to trust in Jesus, yes I'll trust and obey."