Evolving lanaguage

I am not sure why all of the sudden, but I have an issue that is stuck in my brain that I feel the need to address the whole world regarding their ignorance of the facts. Quick bunny trail: We have become a very opinionated people recently. Ok, back to these facts.

There has been an evolution in the American language over the last 40 years, where words used to mean one thing and now mean something else. I'll give you a few examples:

Cool used to refer to temperature, but now refers to whether something is popular or socially acceptable.

Hot used to refer to temperature but now refers to whether someone is sexually attractive or not.

These are common every day evolution's in language that no one is throwing a fit about.

So why is it when the word gender goes through an evolution, we get all panicky and bring out our pitchforks in protest?

So, before I go on in my diatribe, I want to give some qualifications to my descriptions. 1) I am almost done with my Master's in Anthropology. These terms were not created by God, but by social scientists.  Gen 1:27, "And God created man(kind) in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them."

There are a couple of interesting things to note here. Eve hasn't been created yet, but the feminine is mentioned. Many biblical scholars think that the original creation was a being that housed both feminine and masculine genders, and then when God removed the "rib" from Adam, he removed the femininity and made a new being called woman.

So, God created "man and woman" and he created "male and female".  One of those sets refers to their sex and the other refers to their gender. So again, the terms to identify these different qualities "the sex" or "the gender" were created by scientists and have evolved over the years.

At one point your sex and your gender were considered synonymous. If you were a biological girl then you were called female. But over the last forty or so years, we've realized that while there may be a binary in the sexes, there isn't a binary in genders. I say may be a binary in sexes because that's contested. I firmly believe you are either man or woman, have an inny or an outy, XX or XY. But gender is different.

Gender is more fluid. It is more about how you relate to the world than what parts you are born with. There are women who are very feminine: girly girls but there are also girls who are a bit more rough and tumble: tom boys. That is their gender expressing itself differently. One is not better than the other. Certainly God loves you whether you prefer makeup or Nascar. It's just personality and social upbringing. Men too come in different expressions. Some men are very masculine while others are softer and more gentle. Again, one is not better than the other. One is not a sign of weakness, where the other is strong. Neither have anything to do with whom you are sexually attracted too either. You can have really masculine or more feminine men who are hetero or homo-sexual.

So you are born with reproductive parts and that assigns your sex, in a binary set of choices (IMO). But there are hundreds of different combinations or expressions of gender. Those expressions of gender have nothing to do with your sexual preferences.

What this means to everyday language is that I can say I am a woman and a tomboy or you could say that you are a high-femme man. Or maybe you are gen-neutral, not feeling overly male or female.

The point is our language has evolved along side of our understanding of the different expressions of masculinity and femininity in the world. Fifty years ago your sex and gender were synonymous, but today that is not necessarily true.

I believe the "trans" movement may throw a wrench into this argument because they are using the wrong language. If Bruce Jenner went through physically altering surgery to become Caitlyn Jenner, then he is not a transgender, he is a transsexual. If there is no physically altering surgery, but he is just embracing a more feminine expression of himself and is still physically a man, IMO then he is truly transgender. Caitlyn with all her male bits would be a high-femme man.

In closing, I want to speak to the sin question that Christians bring up around this issue. Most people are not going to tell a girl that likes to play with GI Joes instead of Barbie that she's in sin, because she is a tomboy. So why would it be sin for Caitlyn Jenner? Is there a line in the sand that gets crossed? Who draws that line? There's no way for human's to judge that, so it's better to judge with mercy and not call it sin. That being said, I think you could make a strong case for brokenness. But again, I don't think anyone would ever say that a man who likes to cook, garden, and likes fashion instead of auto mechanics is broken. But I don't believe it's fully in God's design for a man to be so extremely disconnected with masculinity that he becomes a woman or vice versa. I think the church has to be very careful about the words we ascribe to individuals in these situations. Either way, whether sin or brokenness, I know that loving people will go a long way. In the places in my life, where I have sin and/or brokenness, I want people to love me where I am while also speaking truth about my identity to me, so that I can walk in full freedom.

As a personal confession on this issue: I think I was a normal little girl. I played with dolls but I was also adventurous. Not necessarily high-femme but not full tomboy either. Puberty was difficult and being a woman was physically and emotionally painful. I wanted a hysterectomy every month from the time I was 15, until I got it at the age of 35. I didn't enjoy being a woman. I didn't know how to handle my sexuality either and the advances of men that were not welcome and often turned really ugly added to my disdain for femininity. I have always loved makeup and jewelry and the genteel things of life, but they have felt like something that is exhausting like wearing a costume. Many years ago, I quit wearing makeup and wanted to embrace myself in a low-femme manner. Knowing my value is in my heart and not my accessories, I have fought to find real identity and self love as I am, not how I think I should be. I think deep down I wish I was thinner, healthier and had the emotional energy to give myself to being a high-femme woman, but I don't. So that's ok. So today, I would describe myself as a low-femme woman. I've repented for being angry at God for making me a woman and I'm learning to accept that he knows what he's doing.

I hope you appreciate the journey of identity and the evolution of language. Think about it before you make snap decisions about these issues next time.

That moment where you find yourself crying in class...

In my career as a college student, I have cried in class twice. Once was 10+ years ago and it was Biblical Hebrew. Last night it was Liberation Theology. Liberation Theology is a popular form of Christianity, particularly in South America. Its main tenets are that the gospel and the message of Jesus Christ is primarily about setting the captives free and loving the broken, lost, poor, weak and vulnerable. I personally believe that they also draw a line that says that if your Christianity doesn't look like this, then you may not be a Christian (or at least that they doubt the sincerity of your faith).

Anytime conversations are happening, they are not without context. Last night, there was a context (behind the scenes) of my own life, the context of the lives of my fellow students, professors, and the context of America in the midst of the global context.  There's lots of context that weighed on those conversations. Part of that context was that I voted for Trump. When I voted for Trump, I liked let's say 6 out of 10 things about him. It turns out that those 4 things that I don't like about him are weighted differently than the six things I do like about him, so they feel more like I dislike 9 things about him and only like 1 thing about him. The weightiness of the stuff that is being said about him before he was elected and since, are incredibly heavy. I like most American's don't REALLY know what is or isn't true. Media has and can really distort things. You can offer sound bites that are totally taken out of context and completely misconstrue what someone was trying to say. So it is entirely possible that Trump has said and fully meant every horrible thing he has ever said or maybe he didn't. Either way, the weightiness of his choices and words has cost me a lot of relationships. I have friends who I have known for years who won't speak to me anymore because I voted for him. I have people who used to respect me, who don't anymore. His election has been very costly. I don't regret my choice. I would probably vote for him again. I still would not vote for Hillary. It's been costly, and I have internalized Trumps poor choices and now walk around with voter's guilt. Every news story of people being denied health care or whatever because of something Trump did, I feel like has been another rock around my neck. I am broken over the state of America and I feel helpless and hopeless for a solution on how to change it. So I walked into class, carrying a box of Thin Mints because I knew it was going to be a tough night, guarded. My professor does not like Trump. I won't say he hates him, but he is angry at Trumps choices.  So that add's its own measure of context to the situation. The first hour and a half, I felt like we were listening to a sermon "Sinners in the hands of an angry God."  For an hour and a half, the professor spoke angrily about the state of the church of America and American herself, because both are complicit. Because the class is based in a forum, I tried to interject some opinions on how I see the world and I felt shut down. I also felt my other classmates who tried to voice opinions were being shut down too. When we took our break, I went outside and inhaled a box of Thin Mints, because I was eating my emotions. I was angry and I felt powerless. I went back in for the second half and hoped I could bide my time and get out without incident. But the professor asked me why I was taking it all personally. And my lip started quivering. And then a fellow student brought up the power differential in the room and as my professor backed down, I lost it. I cried for what felt like 10 minutes with everyone watching me. MISERABLE! And then I tried to verbalize it, to answer his questions. But they felt weak and not comprehensive. And then, he said that he was sorry and told me three more reasons he was right. Ugh.

He said that he thought I was his ally because I connected him with another professor that shares his points of views. I highly respect both of these men, but I don't always see the world the same way they do. And I feel like every time they highlight the tragedies of this world, that somehow I am to blame. Some of this is absolutely false guilt. Some of it is conviction. Some of it is the fact that I am highly empathetic and feel broken about the state of the US and the world.

On top of all of this, there is the fact that there was a power differential in the room. He is a he and he is also a professor. My femininity and the fact that I am a student make it incredibly hard to disagree with someone when they are in a position of power.  In this case, I really wish that if he wanted to lecture us, it would have been presented as a lecture class. But when it is a forum class, I wish my opinions could be heard and debated without being completely shot down. I told him and the class, "I am not looking to be coddled intellectually. I want to be challenged. But I also want to be heard." I didn't feel heard. Especially after the apology and 3 more reasons to prove he was right and statements like "I'm the professor and have read more so maybe I am just supposed to win the argument."  I get it. Totally. Make it a lecture class then. I am teachable and can totally sit back and listen to what you think is the right way to see the world. Don't ask for my opinion and then not hear it.

As a woman who has been abused by men in a variety of different ways throughout my life, I am frustrated and broken by the system. The irony is we were acting out the dynamics of Liberation Theology and I was the oppressed. As he was angrily lecturing us about the value of liberation theology, he missed me as an individual.

I can honestly say that I don't know why I really cried. I don't know if it was the drama at my job, regular grad school pressure, haven't seen my family pressure, grant proposal and ethnographic research plans pressure, Trump/USA stuff I said earlier and/or so much more. So it may have been unavoidable. I am giving him deference by saying these things. It's not all his fault.

As a woman, when we cry in public, we feel crazy. We fear that people think we are crazy. I am highly emotional. I don't want people to think that I am weak and vulnerable. These people have my future in their hands. I need recommendation letters and stuff. I don't want to be seen as fragile and anxiety ridden. We make jokes about me ending up in the fetal position in class, but I am not unstable. I feel things REALLY deeply. I don't want to be applauded for crying nor do I want to be thought of as weak, unstable or crazy. My relationship with classmates and professors is not deep enough to sustain that kind of vulnerability. It reminds me of 1 Cor 13:7 in The Mirror Translation, "Love is a fortress where everyone feels protected rather than exposed!"  I didn't feel protected, I felt exposed. I didn't feel loved. I'm grateful next week is spring break and I hope the shame/vulnerability that I feel will melt away by then.

I want to be very clear. I do not blame my professor!  It is not his fault. I totally forgive him. He is a great teacher and a great man. I am grateful he is in my life. (I'm not just saying this to save face, it's true.) I in no way am writing this to defame his character. I am just journaling out my feelings about how things went down  as an attempt at catharsis. I am not mentioning his name on purpose and the only way that anyone from that situation will ever see this is if they are already following me, which I highly doubt.

I don't even know if this is all of it. This is just the top layer of emotions right now. This is my prayer, my offering to God to heal my hurting heart.

I covet your prayers.

When parenting looks a whole lot like martial law

Long before Trump was ever even the official nominee, and I was trying to wrap my brain around how to vote for him, I had a dream. I know there are lots of different kinds of dreams. There are "I ate weird food" dreams, "I am mentally processing my life" dreams and I believe that there are "God" dreams. I tell about my dream in my last post.  I personally think it was a God dream, but I understand that other people had dreams that were pro-Hillary that they felt like were God dreams too. I didn't mean for this post to be about dreams so I am just going to say that I don't think that means that God is schizophrenic. I think God could have used either of them. But that's really a whole different post.  In the dream I had there was a quality that was highlighted to me and that is "the father heart of God." So I have been thinking and praying about Trump and America and the crazy mess we are in. Something changed when Trump was elected. Like that night, there was a chemical change in America. We brought two things together and they turned into something brand new. We have not seen in my lifetime, in my opinion, the amount of protests, and rioting and whining that we have seen since he was elected. The media seems to have lost its ever loving mind. Can you imagine there being "alternative facts" in the 80's? People lost their jobs for this stuff back in the day. I have been thinking and really a phrase has been rolling around in my spirit for the last week or so that America is acting like a spoiled child and is in need of discipline. We are acting like a 3 year old throwing a temper tantrum in Walmart. This morning as I was praying I was thinking about this and God reminded me of there dream and Trump being a carrier of the father heart of God. I felt like the Lord asked me, when a spoiled child is acting out, what does a loving parent do? It brings discipline. If we apply that metaphor to an entire nation, what does discipline look like? Setting "temporary bans" so your friends can't come over? Reallocating your benefits so that your priorities are straight. And I think if that doesn't work, it looks like martial law. I think you get your butt whooped. (this isn't a place to debate spankings or time-outs.) i grew up in a home that believed in spankings and I do too. I think it's biblical. I also think that each kid can be disciplined differently. But I think that what we are seeing if Trump acting as a father of kids who have had it their way for the last 8+ years and are now feeling very entitled and spoiled. (This is not just Obama's fault. I actually think a lot of it goes back to FDR and the New Deal.)  I think he is stepping in to remind them that the life they are living is a privilege and they need to have the character to sustain that blessing. I think that discipline can be misconstrued if you don't fully understand the heart of the father. I think it can feel abusive. I also think parents can be qbusive if they don't know the heart of their child. Discipline and reward must happen from a place of vulnerability and intimacy. I think America needs discipline right now. I hope we don't have to go through martial law (or worse) to get straightened out. I pray that America will have a clear understanding of the father heart of God and the father heart of Trump. I pray that America will quit acting so spoiled. I pray that if there is any immaturity, entitlement, or other things that are causing me to act like a spoiled child that I would see it for what it is and repent.  *When I say spoiled I am not talking about being pro or against certain issues. Don't confuse this with a political statement. I am talking about a spirit or mentality that has changed the way we respond to situations. The whining and ranting on social media, the media craziness, the protests. In and of themselves, they are fine. I am talking about something behind the scenes.  You may not agree with me and that's fine. We don't have to see eye to eye. But we do have to love each other no matter what. Let me know what you think. 

Why I voted for Trump

I've been thinking about tomorrow and what it means for our country. As many of you know, I voted for Trump. To say that I don't share in the apprehension with the rest of American's about our collective future would be a blatant lie. While I don't owe anyone an explanation regarding my personal choice to vote for Trump, I want to give one anyway along with what I honestly think the next four years will look like.

When voting, I did not think it would be a legitimate race for anyone other than Hillary or Trump, so I was forced to choose from them only. (I wonder how many of us felt like that and could have voted in a 3rd candidate, but that's another issue.) My choices were incredibly difficult. I could vote for a 3rd party and thereby throw away a vote, which may give way for someone like Hillary to win the election. That was not going to happen. My vote was very much, "Not Hillary, even if it means Trump." I do not trust Hillary. I do not believe that she has the good of America nor the Kingdom of God as her compass. I do not believe she would have been a good President. I hate her foreign policy. I hate her domestic policy. There was not even 1% of me that was willing to let her win. The thought of her nominating Supreme Court Justices made me want to puke/cry. So if she is not an option and the 3rd party candidates are not an option, that leaves me with Trump and I blame the RNC for that. But these are the cards I have been dealt, so here's how I feel about these cards.
Many people like to bring racism into the Trump campaign, and I fully acknowledge that he has said some HORRIBLE things. For me, the fact that Hillary is a strong advocate of Planned Parenthood, is also a sign that she is racist. If you know the history of Planned Parenthood and Margaret Sanger, you cannot deny the roots. One of the most dangerous places to be, if you are black, is in your mother's womb. So if I am forced to judge on who is less racist, I choose Trump. (I know many of you will see this as a stretch.) I saw all the things that everyone else saw: his multiple marriages, his horrible behavior, etc and in the face of an extremely tough choice between a woman who I believe is extremely corrupt and will lie, cheat and manipulate her way out of anything and who also is very pro-abortion (or at least pro-choice) or a man who has said terrible things, is married to a woman who posed naked, is on his third marriage. It was a terrible predicament. I thought many times over the last year about the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words."
But the real thing for me is that there are systemic problems that I see in America that I think need to be changed. So yes, very much in spite of all of those things, I chose him and I am genuinely hopeful that his experience as a business man will help improve our economy. I am hopeful that he will bring back jobs and help eradicate our debt. I may be incredibly naive. And let's not forget the chance to nominate Supreme Court Justices. How hopeful I am that Trump will nominate Godly candidates and how terrified I was of who Hillary would nominate. For the life of me I don't know why the Republican Party didn't put forth a more solid candidate. Why they didn't force some of the weaker candidates to drop out of the race earlier so that Cruz had a better shot in the primaries over Trump. This may have been an easy decision for many people. But it wasn't an easy choice for all of us. It was easy between the two choices I had but it was not easy in general. I also can't deny that my particular flavor of faith greatly influences my decision.

If I haven't lost most of you yet, I will likely lose you here. I am a part of and follow the Charismatic tradition of Christianity. During the whole process of Trump running for nomination, I was listening both to people who I respect as church leaders in my tradition as well as my own internal sense of hearing God speak about who should be elected. There were lots of comments made from pulpits that I initially thought were crazy. I had multiple conversations with friends about how I thought this one preacher had lost his ever loving mind because he was pro-Trump from the onset. I continued to listen and pray. Many have talked about him being a Cyrus, out of Isaiah 45.
Then I had a dream.

In my dream there were 2 significant parts. The first section, I was given a certain amount of tickets to go to a gala where Trump was going to be and another certain amount of tickets to go see the band Housefires play in concert. I begged my friends to go with me to see Trump because it was a "once in a lifetime event." While at the gala, we were in a ballroom and Trump was going around and talking to people. He came up and greeted us and was so incredibly fatherly. It was really shocking to me. He was very kind and tender and genuine. Then the scene switched and we were at a football field and it looked like a presidential procession of limo's was parked by the football field. Trump was leaving. Everyone was on the opposite side of the fence from him except for me and my friends. One of my friends had a 'fan-girl' moment and was screaming "We Love You Trump." Security guards stopped her from getting close to him. But a red heart balloon was released from the limo. The second scene began at a movie theater. Me and my friends were at a movie theater which had been rented out to host the Housefires concert. I was in line for the concession stand and my friend Nicole (who wasn't a part of my group) saw my friend Jenn (who was a part of my group) and they began running to each other to hug. Their impact, caused Jenn to fall backwards and land in a chair. She hurt her right foot and was crying and saying something like "I give up." I laid hands on her and began to pray for her to be healed and spoke very clearly to her that it was time for her to get up and walk. (The End).

I do a little bit of dream interpretation, and I feel like what this dream means is that Trump is walking or will walk in the Father heart of God and release a wave of love over America. I also think the second part means that there has been an adulteration of the praise and worship movement and it's become incredibly commercialized. I believe God is restoring/healing us so that we can worship in spirit and truth. (My friend Jenn has a tattoo on her right foot in real life that has spirit and truth written on it.) How will this happen?

I think that the only way the healing could occur in Jenn was for the accident to happen to cause either awareness of the problem or the problem itself. I think not only based off my dream but also based off the reports of other preachers, that Trump is going to be a wrecking ball and is going to cause some systemic things that are counter-kingdom to come crumbling down. I think it will likely be very painful and uncomfortable. I think there will be days when all the people who hate Trump will say to people like me, "See, I told you he was horrible. Don't you feel like an idiot. Don't you regret your choice." And I (and other Trump supporters) will likely feel tempted to say yes I regret it. The same is true when any hard circumstance happens and we are tempted to deny God's nature and character. Just yesterday, I was comforting a friend who didn't get a job she wanted and in the midst of her disappointment she was tempted to not believe in the goodness of God. So it's not a stretch for me to believe that many of us might regret electing Trump at some point in the next four years. But somewhere in the midst of all of this, I am hopeful that it will turn around. That what seems like devastation now will turn into good later. That what looks like a forest fire will be a place where new growth comes in and things are much healthier. I am hopeful that our economy will be much healthier in four years. I hope that Trump does a good enough job in the first four that he is re-elected.

I am gravely concerned that he will be representing America and feel free and fine to make HORRIBLE racist and misogynistic comments like he made in the last year (let alone his life.) I sincerely hope we don't see that from him while president. Even if we do, he should not be the standard we set for our kids. No president should be. Not Obama, Bush, Clinton, Ford, Nixon, Carter or Reagan. They all made horrific mistakes. Cheating, Weapons of Mass Destruction, Lying, Etc. Trump will not be the first president who we don't want as a role model for our kids, nor will he be the last. Moms, dads, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, grandparents, etc...you be the role model.

If you don't like something that Trump does, don't be silent. Write/Call your representatives. Stage peaceful protests. Start non-profits that fight against whatever he did. Give money to ones that already exist. Start local.

As an addendum: I believe that names mean things. Donald means: 1) Great Chief, World Mighty, and Dark Stranger. John means: The grace or mercy of the Lord. I think the fact that John was the beloved is significant. I am praying that The grace and mercy of the Lord will cause Donald John Trump to be a great chief.

And with that, I am going to end with a prayer:

Jesus, I ask that you bless President Obama and Michelle as they leave the White House tonight. I pray that you cover them and make your face known to them. As they continue to walk as role models in the world, I pray that they would come to know you personally (if they don't already) and I pray that they would be used for your glory. Jesus, I ask that you be with President Donald John Trump, his wife Melania, their son Barron, his kids Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. I pray that you would cover them in your protection. I ask Jesus that you would send angels to guard and protect them each and every day over the next four years. I pray that you would they all would come to a saving knowledge of you. I pray that you would use them for your kingdom purposes. I pray that they would be able to walk as role models that bring healing to our land. I pray that Trump would not only bring our nation to a better place economically but also that he would become a champion for the poor, disenfranchised, for women, for minorities. I pray that people would see Trump as an ally instead of as a combatant. God I pray that you would give Trump wisdom and knowledge, I pray that you would bring him Godly advisers. I pray that you would give him grace and strength to do this task. God I pray that you would humble America and bring healing to her so that we can once again be a nation after your heart. God, I ask that you would bring revival to America. If that comes through Trump working as a wrecking ball, I pray that you would be with us as we go through the fire. God, many Americans are caught up with fear tonight. I pray that you would help us to walk in love and that love would overcome fear. Jesus I pray that you would be glorified in my life, in my country from this day and forevermore. Amen.

The Discipline of Community: How Syrian Refugees and the Girl Next Door are really no different.

Most of my life I have always considered myself an extrovert. I have always loved being around people.  The older I get, I also have begun to appreciate having time alone to myself, as well.  For the past three months, I have lived in a new town. I have been by myself 90% of the time.  As hard as it is for an extrovert to be forced into a season of quiet, I think it's when I learn the most from God.

It usually takes me a while to stop the noise, and I don't know if I will ever get it fully stopped. Usually my brain starts over analyzing things and I can't get it to shut off. But somehow in this process of very unintentional meditation, I find God speaking to me.  I usually get here because I feel small, alone and I realize how much I need God in my life.

All my life I have struggled between balancing my Texas independent, "I can do this myself", attitude with a genuine dependence on God's empowering grace.  It's really hard for me to find the balance there.

I really just hate the whole notion of being dependent on people.  I hate feeling weak and vulnerable. I so desperately want to be a self-made woman.  Deep in my core I am the most arrogant, proud, selfish person who ever existed. I would love nothing more than to build my kingdom and lord it over everyone, that I did it.  With my chest all puffed out, roaring like a gorilla at my audience, "I am something special."

I think one of the greatest lessons we learn in life is to do community well.  It is difficult to mix with people who are different from us, who are annoying, who challenge us and to love them well.  It's the whole iron sharpening iron idea.  I hate it!  I have spent most of my life feeling wounded from getting the edges knocked off of me, and now my heart hurts.  In many ways, I don't want to be around people anymore.  This isn't me trying to blame the church.  This is me saying why I have such a hard time being in community. I mostly feel misunderstood, under appreciated and like I am a failure. I am incredibly sensitive when it comes to sarcasm. Those little jabs hurt my heart.  I feel like the world has told me that I need to develop thick skin.  Maybe it's not my responsibility to develop thick skin. Maybe the world, the church needs to do a better job of loving and exhorting and admonishing people.  I for one always feel like I'm not "supernatural enough" (I come from a charismatic tradition) or I'm way too intense.  I need to be silly and simple and not think so much.  I'm too smart for my own good.  Everybody is always intent on trying to change me.

Because of all of this, the lack of community in my life is well beyond a point of deeply disturbing. I haven't been a member of a body of believers that I wasn't in charge of, consistently, since I moved away from Madison in 2005.

This makes it very hard to have a "multitude of wise counselors" in your life.  Sure I have friends who know me deeply and are believers, so they can fill those roles.  But they are scattered from Colorado to Wisconsin to Texas to Florida and I am in New Mexico.  The lack of day in and day out community has turned me into one of those people who just show up at church when there is a crisis. I am willing to let people in when my life is falling a part but anything further than that is miserable.

I don't want to care about other people's issues. I don't feel like others genuinely care about my issues. I don't have any reserves to offer people in need because I can't bother myself to "really" spend time with God and allow him to fill me up.  At least not enough, that I have something more to offer others.  I am burnt out on humanity because I don't spend enough time with God to be filled with grace to love like he loves.

I wonder if that may be the issue with the majority of Christians in America?  I wonder if the reason we don't want to open our doors to refugees, aside from rampant fear, is the fact that we don't have the emotional or spiritual energy to love our neighbors.  I think it is INCREDIBLY easy to become a carnal Christian, who lives a very moral life but is not really filled with the spirit of God nor empowered by him to do things.  I think it's really easy to allow the comfort afforded us by living in the West to be a much louder voice than the cries of the broken. In many ways, that's how I would describe myself these days.  I'm just a going through the motions, barely moral person. I guess it all depends on who I am comparing myself to.  Compared to some I feel like a heathen. Compared to other's I'll the next person to be nominated for sainthood.

I just bought my friend a copy of Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline."  I have felt for some time God calling me to be more disciplined in areas of my life. I have blown it off, convincing myself it was last night's pizza.  Discipline is difficult.  It is sacrificial. It is a place where the rough edges are knocked off of you, revealing a beautiful masterpiece underneath.  Maybe it's time I choose to celebrate the discipline of community once again.

A New Take on Dove's Eyes

2 Sam 6:7-- "The Lord’s anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down, and he died there beside the ark of God."

I think for humanity, at least Christian-God fearing humanity, there is nothing more frightening than the feeling that you are disappointing God. For passionate, God-fearing, people who want to do what is right, when they experience a threat of what they value, there is a visceral reaction that comes from deep within, that overrides their understanding of right vs. wrong.

I think that's what happened in Uzzah's case.  He knew the right answer.  Don't touch the ark.  And yet, when put in a situation that felt threatening to the holiness and sanctity of the moment, his passion over ruled his understanding and he reached out his hand.  The penalty was death.  Out of all of the stories in the Old Testament, where people want to misconstrue the character of God as a nefarious dictator, this one should rank at the top.  It would be so easy to allow this story to completely jack with our notion of a good and loving God.  But, reader be warned, if you don't dig deeper, you will miss something very important in this story.

In Matthew 8:23-27, there is another story that has similar significance. The disciples and Jesus are crossing the lake. Jesus is napping. A storm begins to threaten their existence and the disciples wake Jesus in a panic.  Who could blame them?  And yet Jesus responds by calling them a people of "little faith."  That was the first century equivalent of ---

Another passage of scripture, in Ephesians 4:1-6, has a less obvious connection, but yet, it connects on a much deeper level.  In this passage, Paul is admonishing (to use a fancy bible word) the early church to choose unity at all costs.  

There were significant threats to the early church.  While Christians in the 21st century freak out over the differences between the prosperity gospel and the liberation theology (aka the poverty gospel), the LGBTQ (and any other initials) place in or out of the church, and so many other worthwhile theological issues that need exploring--in reality, we have nothing on the early church when it comes to divisive issues.  

I'm writing an exegesis of this passage in Ephesians, and in my paper I write, "Unfortunately, as the church grew into maturity, it faced countless perversions of the gospel. Leaders chose to draw lines in the proverbial sand, in order that they might prevent heresies from ruining the church."

For me, there is a distinct correlation between all three of these stories.  Quite simply it boils down to a lack of trust in God's ability to deal with what we perceive as a "hot mess."

In the case of the falling Ark, Uzzah decided that it would be better if he steadied the Ark, than if it fell to the ground, causing much shame and disgrace.  But in God's eyes, David shouldn't have been transporting the Ark that way to begin with.  God uses tragic, horrible circumstances to teach us that his ways are right. It would have been better for the Ark to fall to the ground and for the whole entourage to be forced to go through the ritualistic process of repentance and purification, so that the Ark could be transported correctly.  Holiness is absolutely worth doing it right.  It was worth, Uzzah losing his life.  God would have preferred that David transport the Ark correctly, so that Uzzah wouldn't have put in that situation.  God's not vindictive. But when David didn't do things correctly, Uzzah still had his own choice to follow God's commands and he didn't choose right.  

I think sometimes we don't believe God can pick up the pieces and make things right again. 

In the case with the lake, the disciples didn't really believe Jesus was who he said he was, despite having witnessed countless miracles.  Worst case scenario, the boat sinks and they all drown.  That would be a worst case scenario, except Jesus can raise people from the dead and walk on water. Soooo, don't panic. Trust Jesus.  He can turn this stuff around.

Finally, in Ephesians, the early church made decisions about who was in and who was out. They argued over the inclusion of the Gentiles, much like we argue over the inclusion of the _________. Insert the name of any group there, because we argue over a lot of people.  In the face of tragedy, the hardest thing to do is to keep loving Jesus ferociously.  We want to defend God's honor. It is so dang hard to let the chips fall where they may and keep loving God and each other.  Jesus prays that love and unity will be our defining marker.  When people threaten our understanding of the way to do things, we want to draw lines in the sand.  I think Jesus just says, love me and love each other.  The great commandments are summed up in these two, "love the lord your god with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself."  

God didn't ask us to keep the ark from hitting the ground or to freak out over the proverbial sinking boat or to draw lines about who is in or who is out.  

He just said, Love me and Love Them.  Even in the worst case scenario, God can redeem the earth. Do you really believe that he is that good?  It takes a lot of faith to let everything you love go down the crapper.  It takes A LOT OF FAITH to keep your eyes on Jesus and release love, when it looks like everything is burning down.  

Do you have what it takes to keep your eyes on Jesus and not reach out and steady the ark, freak out in the storm and to allow people to teach things about Jesus that make your skin crawl?  

I think that's what it is about.  It is a deep tethering in your spirit to the nature of God, that he is an overcomer, and he alone is responsible to clean up this stuff.  My job is to love him with everything I am and to love those around me, with every ounce of energy I have as well.  

But these are just my thoughts and maybe I'm one of the people who are screwing things up.  Are you gonna love me anyway?

It's time to move beyond "Do No Harm"

2015 has been a remarkable year.  Popular culture in the United States is evolving and I believe that socio-anthropologists are well equipped to address these evolutions.  The first issue that anthropology is particularly well-equipped to address is gender related topics.  Whether comparing and contrasting the roles of men and women, women in the west to women in the east, the emergence of metro-sexual and lumber-sexual as re-definitions of masculinity, the promotion and acceptance of trans-gendered persons or any number of other issues, I believe that anthropology has the potential to speak into these topics and guide Americans in what it means to be human.  After all according to Texas Tech's website, "The discipline of anthropology is uniquely positioned to both educate and engage students about the human condition."

The second issue that I believe anthropology is particularly well equipped to address is the issue of race and racism in America.  Many people will emphatically disagree with me, since the standard approach in anthropology is to deny that race even exists.  While I completely agree that there is no biological markers that allow for scientific segregation, as anthropologists we cannot allow scientific data to blind us from the very real cultural phenomena that take place on a daily basis.  Many will argue that acts of racism are not really about race, but about politics, economics, education levels, etc. While that may be true, I envision a world where anthropologists are using their unbiased approach to studying a variety of cultures which begins to create conversation points for the culture at large.  It is no longer okay, in my humble opinion, to allow the voice of anthropologists to be locked away in academic castles, but we must use our collective voice to go beyond "do no harm" and begin to "do good".

In 2015, We Need a Higher Standard, like a Platinum Rule.

Is the answer to questionable ethics, as simple as "Follow the Golden Rule?"

Most people are taught from a very early age, "Do unto others as you would like to be done unto you."

As adults, we know that there are various standards for ethical behavior, depending on one's profession. In the world of research; medical doctors, psychiatric doctors, sociologists, and anthropologists are held to a specific standard to protect people from being hurt emotionally or physically.

There are a few cases that are remarkable for the appalling nature of their ethical violations.  One such case is, "The Guatemala Syphilis Experiment."

Wikipedia states that from 1946-48, the United States conducted experiments in Guatemala whereby doctors infected "soldiers, prostitutes, prisoners and mental patients with syphilis and other sexually transmitted diseases, without the informed consent of the subjects, and treated most subjects with antibiotics. This resulted in at least 83 deaths."

While the National Research Act (1974) had not been signed into law at this time to govern these practices, it should not take laws to tell people that this kind of behavior is beyond unethical, it is criminal.  Since these days, we have witnessed men help legally accountable for their medical research in the famous Nuremberg Trials and I believe the people who participated in the Guatemala Syphilis Experiment should also be held legally responsible, just as the holocaust doctors were in the Nuremberg Trials.

There are other cases that have certainly been, at a minimum, disrespectful towards people's cultural heritage.  In 1991, Archaeologist and Louisiana State professor, Heather McKillop followed Canada's protocol in the Ontario Cemeteries Act.

According to The Star.com, "For remains deemed very old and aboriginal, there are two choices under the Ontario Cemeteries Act: One is to contact the closest First Nations group, which in this case was the Alderville First Nation. The second option is to consult with the most likely people descended from the dead."

McKillop, followed this protocol by choosing the first option, which was to ask the closest geographical group of native peoples' (Alderville First Nation) permission and it was granted.  The chief of the Alderville at the time was Nora Bothwell. In the process of research, McKillop discovered that the bones she dug up were not in fact from the Alderville First Nation but instead from a different tribe, the Huron-Wendat.

According to The Star, Bothwell said, "the bones were expected to be repatriated and that she hadn't initially known the skeletons were Huron-Wendat."

The ethical question then, is McKillop ethically responsible to return the bones to the Huron-Wendat, who are extremely eager to have them returned, and have proven so by filing a law suit.  If the former chief of the Alderville First Nation were expecting the bones to be repatriated, I cannot see a reason why McKillop would not return them to the Huron-Wendat as well.  Anthropologists and Archaeologists, we will never have a peaceful relationship with the First Nations people if we continue to rape and pillage their cultural heritage. Whether we agree or not, the First Nations people continue to feel as though we are doing just that every time we choose our science needs over their cultural heritage needs.

Ethics should be a basic common denominator in research, but unfortunately we live in the 21st-century, where people have wildly different values and morals.  The Golden Rule is not enough anymore, we need a platinum rule. I hope that when it comes time for me to make ethical decisions in research, I will do so with more than just my own interests in mind.

Cupcake Wars

Everyday we go into places of business that have the right to refuse service foe any number of things: "no shoes, no shirt, no service"; if you are drunk a bar can deny you another glass, etc. In the 50's blacks were denied service because of skin color. Today gays are denied wedding cakes because of whom they chose to marry.

In my opinion: businesses have the right to deny service. It doesn't mean that I like it or will ever buy from them. As a business owner, I made specific decisions to market myself to specific clients. I don't want to work for Pepsi or Microsoft. My product and price would be a joke to them. It's perfect for small businesses. So if a large company came courting me, I would refuse their service. I might also refuse their service because I disagree with who they support. But that's my business, literally. If I want to limit my clientele and my cash flow, then let me.

On the flip side: In my opinion. It is incredibly dumb to refuse to service people because of sin. If you believe homosexuality is a sin and are denying from that basis what about ever other client you have that is a sinner in some form or fashion? This is a good place for the word hypocrite. You yourself are a sinner. Christians have missed the grace boat.  That all being said, if you want to deny service, I think you should be allowed to and not face consequences from the courts. But if your business tanks, then you are reaping what you sowed, just like every other business owner when they make poor decisions.

In my opinion: Denying service to blacks and gays are NOT the same. It's not a sin to BE black. It's not a sin to BE gay. It is a sin to 1) have extra marital sex and 2) to have sex with your own gender. Your identity is not a sin. It's the action you take with your identity. Thus it is WRONG to discriminate based on identity and DUMB to discriminate based on sin, but you have the right to be DUMB not WRONG.

I for one am grateful for the demolishing of to walls that is happening in the us/them culture in the church. Pretentious living is exhausting. Balancing the truth that we are all "sinners saved by grace" with a pursuit of holiness is challenging.

I want to want to want to be holy. But mostly I want to finish watching Netflix.

Raining and Reigning

Several months ago, I was introduced to Graham Cooke's interactive journal, "The Crafted Prayer."  I rushed through it and began my first crafted prayer.  Basically Graham has you ask God what is your inheritance, and then you listen for the word or promise, and then begin meditating on some scriptures about the said promise.  My word was goodness.

I began to meditate on Psalm 27:13, Psalm 25:7, Exodus 33:19, Jeremiah 31:4, and Hosea 3:5 (this one was not an initial verse, but came later through a conversation with a friend).

So I asked a normal question:  What does your goodness mean?

• Jesus remembering NOT the sins of my youth
•  Goods/property
• Fairness/beauty/joy/prosperity
• Goodness of taste/discernment
• Goodness of intelligence/goodness of understanding
• The kindness of God
• That which is good or best of any
• Hiddenness/protection (in the cleft of the rock)
•  Refuge
• A warning of the Lord about an upcoming attack, that God has in his control and will display his goodness in. He is trustworthy.
• A response to seeking. Both Moses and David earnestly were seeking the Lord
• Grace in the wilderness
• Rest
• Causing dancing of merriness
• Something that is so overwhelming we tremble with awe before the Lord
• Plant and taste your harvest
• Regathering of those scattered
• No more sorrow
• Mourning changed to joy
• Priests shall have fatness/favor/full bellies/well nourished/smooth roads
• Satisfied
• Rewarded for your work
• Children will return to their proper borders
• A habitation of justice
•  A mountain of holiness
•  Replenished

So now what?  What do I do with this information?  So many times we attribute God's goodness to circumstantial changes in our lives (i.e. raises, promotions, proposals, etc).  Is God's goodness for real or is it just another way that the health and prosperity gospel has portrayed a truth about God's character. What I mean is, I know God is good because the Bible says he is good but I also believe different theologies change what that goodness means or is translated to in our daily lives. 

The next part of the journal suggests that if God is telling you that this is your inheritance, then we must believe that he in interceding for you about this issue. So what would those prayers sound like? If you could hear God praying for you, what would he say?  

This is what I felt like I heard the Lord praying over me: 

I pray Father that you would be merciful to Jill because of Your goodness and mercy, because of the blood I shed. I pray that her sins would be forgotten. I pray that her identity would not be embedded any longer in the sins of her youth, but that she would stand firmly in her identity as a daughter of the King.

I pray that Jill would have the Spirit of Wisdom and Knowledge, the Spirit of Revelation, the Spirit of Discernment to know and be able to judge rightly. I pray that the eyes of her heart would be enlightened and that she would know the height, width, depth and breadth of our love for her. I pray that she would know that if we are for her, who can be against her. I pray that her imagination would be captivated with the imagery of the delight and smile on your face towards her, Father. I pray that she would be confident of our affections towards her.

I pray that she will know how to be hidden in me, in the cleft of the Rock. I pray that she will know what the atonement means and how she is covered. I pray that in the face of accusation, she will respond with mercy and grace knowing that her sins have been forgiven and forgotten. I pray that she will respond out of her identity, not out of defensiveness. I pray that she will trust me and know that I am her defender and advocate. I am her reward. I pray that she will completely trust her life into my hands, knowing that I am for her and not against her. I pray that she will know that I have good plans for her. I pray that she will know that I have established her and given her a seat at the banqueting table in the presence of her enemies. I pray that when her enemies arise, that she will feast on my goodness. I pray that she will choose to exalt my name and worship me, for when that happens, my enemies (and hers by default) will scatter. 

Ok, so that's kind of cool. 

Today I was thinking about the rain in Lubbock. Lubbock is a farming community and because we get so little rain, the city never developed a drain system to catch the rain.  So anytime it rains, the streets are flooded. The ground doesn't know how to receive the rain fast enough. 

I feel like that's where my heart is at with God.  I feel like the smallest amount of goodness is so overwhelming to me that it causes me to shut down. I need a drainage system. I want to be able to contain and store up his goodness in my life. I feel there is more coming, and I don't want to miss out on any of it because I can't receive it. God I pray that you would create in me a clean heart that has a very deep drainage and storage system so I can contain and hold your goodness. Amen. I don't even know if that's a correct prayer. 

I was listening to my friend Wendy share about this subject this morning.  I highly encourage you listen to it. Just click on her name and it will take you to a place where you can listen to her share about her journey of wrestling with God over promises he made, and her realization of what His goodness really means.  

At the end she begins to discuss the things that kept her from fully knowing the goodness and love of God.  

I think my two biggest issues are 1) I don't believe I deserve his goodness. Which means that I'm not walking in my new identity. My former self before Christ didn't deserve His goodness. I deserved death. However, the fact that I have chosen to identify with Christ means that I am hidden in Him and a new creation. I just don't walk in that reality everyday. It's like I forget and have to remind myself all over again.  The second thing that I struggle with is that somehow I have believed that there is something more Holy or valid or something about sharing in the sufferings of Christ then being blessed by him.  I don't know how to explain it but it's kind of like an woman who has been in abusive relationships her whole life has a hard time receiving love. The wires are just crossed and the re-wiring process is fairly painful.  

All of that being said,  I do believe that God can re-wire my brain and I can practice living in the reality of deserving his affections/goodness because I am a new creation.  That's what I long for. I want to figure this out. I want to know that I know that I know that His goodness is for me and it is lavish and more than I could ever imagine.  Whether that comes through raises, promotions or marriage proposals, I don't know or care.  Sure, I want those things but they are absolutely nothing compared to being fulfilled by him, in him and through him. 

That's my desire for this season.  So I join Jesus in praying that I will come to realize what His goodness looks like in my life.

2015: welcoming a fresh start

God, thanks for letting me see another new year. Thank you for being faithful through all the good and all the hard times this last year. Thank you for being with me every step of the way, for never leaving me or forsaking me. Thank you for always loving me and forgiving me, for being patient with me, for being slow to anger and quick to love. Thank you for your steadfast mercies which are new every morning. Thank you for being bigger than my failure, for choosing to use me even though I am weak and broken. Thank you for having a bigger picture for me than what my limited vision can see. Thank you for believing I can be more and do more than I know or believe about myself. Thank you for relentlessly pursuing my heart and the destiny you have called me to. Thank you for loving my family and fighting for them even when I forget or don't care to fight. Thank you for being a healer! Thank you for always being faithful to provide. Forgive me for being small minded, partnering with fear, doubt, lack, and anything else that is anti-Kingdom. 

God forgive me for not stewarding things well, then responding out of fear and then making choices that usher in negative consequences. I ask that you baptize me with a greater measure of the fear of the Lord, and that Holy Spirit will give me strength to choose discipline so that I will be a good steward of the gifts you have given me. God I plead the blood of Jesus over my life and I ask that you destroy any strongholds of the enemy in my life that are connected to finances and intimacy. God I ask that you will usher me into greater revelation and freedom of finances and love this year. God I believe that there was a destiny that you had for me almost 20 years ago. I believe the enemy set me up and I made sinful choices that resulted in another walk in the wilderness. God I ask that this year will be the year that I see the promised land. God but before I do, I ask that you will finish the work of building the really strong foundation of character so that I can withstand the temptations of the devil. 

God I ask that you would mark this year with intimacy with you that is mind blowing, life transforming, and foundation shaking. I ask that you would break through in all the places I have said no to you in the past and cause there to be no more no's in my heart. God I ask that you would give me new vision for creating a house of prayer at Texas Tech. God I ask that you would grip my life in such a way that I cannot live outside of your presence. God I pray that you would begin to move in signs and wonders at Texas Tech. I pray that you would teach me and show me how to create an environment where there is an expectation that you will show up. 

God I pray that this year I would begin to see myself the way you see me. I pray that you would forgive me from all the times I have argued with you about who I am. I want to see through your eyes. Not only myself it others. God I pray that this year we would see honor birthed at Texas Tech. That no longer would we have to strive for honor but it would be tangible everywhere we go. I ask that you would grip the hearts of the college pastors and you would create in them a desire for unity and prayer like never before. God I ask that you would give me strength to choose you. 

I declare that 2015 is going to be a year of prosperity, favor, intimacy, divine health, restoration, unity, revival, hope, a centering and a streamlining of priorities, a bullet train that is focused and swift like an arrow, all hindrances will be thrown off, there will be great advances for the Kingdom of God and in my life personally. I declare breakthrough and freedom from past bandages, shackles will fall off during worship. I declare liberty and liberality in the Lord this year. I declare in the name of Jesus that the warfare in the 2nd heaven that has successfully halted, delayed, or disrupted the plans of God over my life in the past will cease in 2015. I declare that there will be free flowing channels, open heavens, clarity of hearing and vision, and the weighty kabod glory of God hovering over me every day in 2015. 

Jesus I declare that you are worthy and there is none like you! I pray that you will receive the reward of your suffering at Texas Tech. May your Kingdom come and your will be done at Texas Tech as it is in heaven. 

Jesus you are beautiful. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. Holy Spirit forgive me for anytime I have quenched you.  Please flow freely in my life. Father thank you for wanting relationship with me and being faithful to make me a pure and spotless bride for your son. 

May the name of Jesus be magnified and glorified in 2015 in all peoples of the earth. Amen!

Exegesis on Philippians 2:12-13

In literary criticism, there is a debate on whether meaning is imbued by the author or by the reader. Whether the meaning of any particular text is subjective or not is not necessarily the point, but for the sake of argument, in this exegesis we will explore a variety of facets which potentially shape the meaning of the text. To effectively exegete this text, we must look at what Paul had in mind when he wrote the letter to the Philippian church. Thus, we must look at the context surrounding Paul personally, the political/cultural context in Philippi, and compare those findings with other writings which are attributed to Paul.

The city of Philippi was located in the north eastern corner of Macedonia. It is named after the father of Alexander the Great, Philip II of Macedon. In 168 BCE, Philippi became part of the Roman Empire when the Roman army defeated the Persians. Paul came to Philippi in approximately 49 AD. The official language of the area was Latin, but most people spoke Greek. “The religious life of those in Philippi was marked by very syncretistic practices including the worship of the emperor (Julius, Augustus and Claudius), the Egyptian gods Isis and Serapis, as well as many other deities.”^[1] In Acts 16:1-40, we find the record of Paul’s second missionary journey to Macedonia. Paul was not originally planning on going to Macedonia, but Paul had a dream in which a man from Macedonia asked him to come. Paul traveled to Macedonia with Silas and they were imprisoned for casting demons out of the fortune telling slave-girl, thus interrupting her master’s financial gain. During their night in prison, an earthquake broke the foundations of the prison. Believing everyone to have escaped, the jailer was about to end his own life, when Paul and Silas, spoke up and revealed that they were all still there. Paul and Silas’ were then able to explain the Gospel of Christ and usher in salvation for the jailer and his family. Thus, this missionary journey was the birthplace of the church in Philippi. It was also the beginning of a people to whom this letter would eventually be addressed.
            As for authorship of the book of Philippians, most scholars believe that Paul was the author. The writing style is consistent with all other Pauline writings. As for the date of the writing, much of that depends on when and where Paul was imprisoned, as written about in 1:12-26. There are three different possibilities which include Rome, Ephesus and Caesarea. There are Scriptural references which indicate Paul was imprisoned in both Rome and Caesarea. However both of these locales are a significant distance from Philippi, which makes the travel schedule that Paul outlines in Philippians difficult to imagine.  While Ephesus is much closer, making the itinerary much more realistic, there is a substantial lack of evidence to prove that Paul was imprisoned in Ephesus. Most scholars believe that Philippians was written by Paul, while imprisoned in Rome, during 60-62 AD.
            Now that we understand the background of this text, let us look to the text at hand. We see that in the New American Standard Bible, Philippians 2:12-13 is translated,

 “So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

Paul’s consistency in his writings must be our foundation for this exegesis. The context that surrounds verses 12-13 is incredibly important. The ultimate goal of the first chapter in Philippians is to lay a template that reveals Christ as the first son who chose humility and obedience, with Paul following in Christ’s footsteps, and an invitation for the church at Philippi to follow as well. This section begins with a phrase, ‘so then’ which is translated as ‘therefore’ in the ESV. The word therefore, always refers back to a previous principle, in which the author is trying to draw a correlation. In the case of 2:12, it refers back to the hymn about Christ’s obedience and humility in 2:5-11. In this verse Paul is not questioning the churches obedience nor is he issuing a stern command, but rather is applauding them on their behavior.

 “Paul has no misgivings about the Philippian Christian’s obedience: unlike the Corinthians in the situation reflected in 2 Corinthians 10:6, they had always shown obedience, not so much to Paul as to the Lord whose apostle he was.”^[2]

By inserting this hymn at this point in his letter to the church in Philippi, Paul is using the song as a literary exclamation point in the middle of his letter. For Paul faith in Christ is, in the end, articulated as obedience to Christ, not in the sense of adhering to the law but of submitting wholly to His lordship. This is the only obedience Paul is concerned with.[3] The significance of this context is its impact upon the following admonition to “work out your salvation.”

One key to understanding verses 2:12-13 is to determine whether Paul directed this command to the congregation or to each person individually. In Philippians: A Greek Student’s Intermediate Reader, Jerry Sumney wrote,

“…the verb and the reflexive pronoun that modify σώτηρίαύ are plural. This shows that the call to live out their salvation is a call to the Philippians as a community and anticipates that the matters to be raised in the following verses involve relations within the community.”^[4]

If those modifiers had been singular, the context of this passage would have been altered significantly. Sumney is not alone in recognizing the corporate ramifications in this text. F.F. Bruce also believes in the communal concept of salvation. In the New International Biblical Commentary he writes,

“In this context Paul is not urging each member of the church to keep working at his or her own personal salvation; he is thinking of the health and well-being of the church as a whole. Each of them and all of them together, must pay attention to this.”^[5]

Personal salvation is explicitly linked to eternal salvation, whereas corporate salvation is synonymous with sanctification. The term corporate salvation also lends itself to an entire community being transformed into a group of people who fully represent the Kingdom of God, and thereby offer an attractive alternative to the lifestyle of the non believers who are watching and judging the community as a whole. Thus the entire community is preserved or saved together, collectively. Moises Silva wrote, “One must ask, however, how it is that God works in the midst of people if not through their personal transformation.”^[6]  Silva believes that Paul is referencing personal salvation but is quick to admit that sanctification comes through community. Thus when we look back at 2:5-11, we see humility, which manifests as dying to self, is a requirement for the sanctification process. Just as Christ was humble and obedient to the point of death, so too should the Philippians choose to walk in humility and obedience. While looking at both sides of the debate on this Scripture are helpful, we cannot fully ascertain the meaning of Paul’s writings until we understand the words that he uses.

To fully understand the nuances of this text, we must further examine it in the original Greek language. The Greek word that is used in Philippians 2:12-13 for salvation is soteria.

“The KJV translates soteria as deliverance, preservation, safety, salvation (i.e. deliverance from the molestation of enemies; in an ethical sense, that which concludes to the soul's safety or salvation; of Messianic salvation; salvation as the present possession of all true Christians; future salvation, the sum of benefits and blessings which the Christians, redeemed from all earthly ills, will enjoy after the visible return of Christ from heaven in the consummated and eternal kingdom of God.)”^[7]

Thus salvation can refer to liberation from a person’s current circumstances and also to the future liberation from Hell. Etymologically we are reminded that, in modern times, when an injury occurs it is typical to put an ointment or salve on the wound. In the same way, salvation is an ointment for our souls that brings healing and wholeness. Sin has left our souls broken and damaged and the road to restoration or salvation begins with Jehovah Raphe, The Lord our Healer, applying a salve to our souls and healing those broken places.

“The word ‘salvation’ comes from the same Latin root as ‘salve’, an ointment for healing. To be saved is to be made whole. In Greek the word is soteria, meaning not only salvation, but preservation. While there is a beginning point in our salvation experience, the point of repentance and justification—the time of our faith commitment to Jesus Christ—this is only the beginning. We are to ‘work out’ our salvation, to grow into maturing, into the full stature of Christ.”^[8]

Maxie Dunnam, noted that salvation is not so much a onetime experience but more so a progression of experiences that happens in the life of every believer. The theological term for this is “sanctification.” The primary definition for sanctification in Webster’s Dictionary is “to make holy, set apart as sacred or to consecrate,” however, the third definition is to “render legitimate.”[9] Sanctification both legitimizes Christ’s sacrifice on the cross as well as rendering us legitimate to the Father.

When Paul speaks of corporate salvation, he is describing individuals who have experienced a personal salvation and are working it out corporately in the context of family. While the initial salvation encounter is intensely private, the sanctification process is worked out through daily interaction with believers in our community. This conviction finds its goal in deliverance/salvation, which from the beginning of time God has willed and plans to grant. In its implementation God’s work through his sanctifying Spirit is combined with the obedience of the believer as evidenced in 2 Thessalonians 2:13 “God chose you from the beginning for salvation, through sanctification by the Spirit and belief in the truth.”[10] Thus, salvation cannot remain in one category or the other.  It must be embraced in tension.  A strictly personal view of salvation would lead to an immature faith that has never been sharpened in community. Likewise, if salvation were to remain entirely corporate, it would lead to a lack in personal relationship with God.  Neither stream is beneficial or desirable. By staying in the tension, Christians best emulate the nature and character of God who delicately holds the balance between extremes in perfect unison.

“For all that, our dependence on divine activity for sanctification is nowhere made as explicit as here. To begin with, God’s work is viewed as having a causal relation to our working; our activity is possible only because of divine grace. Second the syntax is emphatic: Paul says not merely “God works” but “the one who works the working is God”. Third, the divine influence is said to extend not only to our activity but to our very wills—a unique statement, though the idea is implied in other passages (e.g., John 1:13, Rom. 9:16).”^[11]

To further prove this, it is interesting to note that in Philippians 2:12-13, the word ‘work’ is mentioned three separate times. When we juxtapose the phrase “work out your salvation” in Philippians with Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, it would seem contradictory.  In the NASB, Ephesians 2:8-10 is translated as,

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For, we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

As was stated earlier, context is incredibly crucial. One must not read v.12 without also reading v.13. Paul goes on to emphasize in v.13, that the working is not man-made effort but the grace of God made manifest in our lives. Silva reinforces this thought by saying,

“For those who admit the soteriological thrust of the passage, the tendency is to define verse 12 by means of verse 13 (or verse 13 by means of verse 12), that is to tone down human activity by appealing to divine grace (or vice versa). One may, for example, so emphasize the truth that God does not force us to act against our will, that as a result grace is restricted to little more than a spiritual aid: “God will help us along, but it’s really up to us.” Conversely, fear of legalism may lead us to a more or less passive understanding of sanctification: “Our responsibility is simply to rest in God’s grace, to let him work in us.” The text itself, by its very juxtaposition of those two emphases, cries out loudly against any such attempts at resolution. And the point here is not merely that both the human and the divine are stressed, but that in one and the same passage, we have what is perhaps the strongest biblical expression of each element.”^[12]

While it is very natural for us to be polemic in our response, as Silva so beautifully articulates, we must embrace the tension found in these two verses to achieve the maximum balance and benefit.

The question now remains, what is the biblical application of Philippians 2:12-13? Quite simply, in order to legitimize or manifest the out-workings of your salvation, you must humbly submit to the sanctification process which is found in the context of community. First century Philippians lived in a tribal or familial system. Communities consisted of groups of families that were ruled by the leading patriarch.  Therefore, when hearing a message from Paul in which they were instructed to ‘work out their salvation’, their worldview would mandate the interpretation of this Scripture as ‘salvation comes in the context of community’.  Twenty centuries later, Americans are much more individualized.  Today, salvation is almost always portrayed as a personal experience. The bridge that divides these twenty centuries is wide. As Americans, who have chosen to submit to the Kingdom of God, though, Scripture must trump our individualistic proclivities, thereby mandating our participation in community. In THE MIRROR, Francis Du Toit translates Hebrews 10:25 as,

“In light of our free access to the Father, let us extend that embrace to one another. Our gatherings are no longer a repetition of tradition but an essential fellowship where we remind one another of our true identity. Let us do so with greater urgency (now that the day has dawned in our understanding).”^[13]

In this passage we can see more clearly what church is really about.  It is a place where we remind one another of our true identity.  The Church is about Christians understanding their place in the family of God as sons and daughters.

In these two short verses Paul amazingly articulates such profound thoughts on the concepts of personal versus corporate salvation, works versus grace, the fear of the Lord, as well as hints at what brings pleasure to God. It is no wonder why scholars have debated these verses throughout the centuries. As for the literary criticism and determining the meaning of this text, we absolutely cannot separate the first century context from the words that Paul wrote. Neither do we have the liberty to move then entirely into the 21^st century context. Just as we did with the concepts within we must balance the divide in careful tension. This is what makes Scripture beautiful in my opinion, it is a living document that spans time and is equally relevant to both the church in Philippi as well as the church in America two thousand years later.

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[1]           Marshall, I. Howard, and W. Ward Gasque, eds. The New International Greek Testament Commentary: The Acts of the Apostles. Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1980.

[2]           Bruce, Frederick F. New International Biblical Commentary: Philippians. Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson Publishers, 1989.

[3]           Fee, Gordon D. "The Philippians "Affairs"-Exhortation to Steadfastness and Unity." In Paul's Letter to the Philippians, 233. Grand Rapids, Mich.: W.B. Eerdmans Pub., 1995.

[4]           Sumney, Jerry L. Philippians: A Greek Student's Intermediate Reader. Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson Publishers, 2007.

[5]           Bruce, Frederick F. New International Biblical Commentary: Philippians. Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson Publishers, 1989.

[6]           Silva, Moises. Baker Exegetical Commentary on the New Testament: Philippians. 2nd ed. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Baker Books, 1994.

[7]           Strong, James. Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Updated ed. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers, 2007.

[8]           Dunnam, Maxie D. The Communicator's Commentary: Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Philemon. Edited by Lloyd J. Ogilvie. Waco, TX: Word Books, 1984.

[9]           Webster, Miriam. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sanctification (accessed: December 11, 2014).

[10]          Balz, Horst and Gerhard Schneider, eds. In Exegetical Dictionary of the New Testament, "Soteria (deliverance, Salvation)." 327-329. Vol. 3. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing, 1993.

[11]          Silva, Moises. The Wycliffe Exegetical Commentary: Philippians. Chicago, Il.: Moody Press, 1988.

[12]          Silva, Moises. The Wycliffe Exegetical Commentary: Philippians. Chicago, Il.: Moody  Press, 1988.         

[13]          Du Toit, Francois. "Hebrews 10." In Mirror Bible. 3rd ed. Hermanus, South Africa: Mirror Word Publishing, 2014.